How Single Men Wreck Their Hotwife Chances

Let’s be real here: many single men want to enjoy a hotwife experience. No strings sex with an attractive married woman? Yes!

But listen up all you would-be future bulls. This isn’t only about you having casual sex and heading home. If you are new to this kink and hoping to enjoy a sexy time with another man’s wife, then take some time to think about the other people involved. It is important to remember that hotwifing is a couple’s experience. You might have the right moves and equipment to rock her world, but none of that matters if you forget to show some common courtesy to the hotwife and her husband.

Read on for tips on improving your odds of being chosen for a hotwife date.

What Do Couples Want From You?

Many single men interested in joining the hotwife scene never think about their husbands. This is a big mistake single men make since every hotwife looking for a date has a husband that is part of the package. You may never meet the guy married to the sexy woman you have your eye on, but he is an important part of the equation.

The first step to securing hotwife dates is to create a profile on a dedicated lifestyle site. Search and use the site’s filter features to find profiles that match what you’re looking for. Read the profiles. Seriously. Read the profiles so you know what the hotwife is looking for and what the expected role of her husband is. This is an important peek into rules, boundaries, and also the sexy possibilities you’re seeking.

If the info in the profile matches what you have to offer, reach out with a friendly message. Be direct about what attracts you but avoid being vulgar. Show a little personality. Don’t expect to get many responses if you send the same generic, “Hi, nice profile” message out 50 times.

A big aspect of hotwifing for the woman is feeling desirable and wanted by men outside her marriage and her husband probably likes to see why men are drawn to her specifically too. It’s a bit of a slap in their face to get what is not a very well thought out message. And yes, they will be able to tell.

Respect The Husband

Don’t neglect the husband, especially if they reach out to you from a joint account. If you are talking to a couple, make sure you are including him in the conversation and taking what he has to say into account. Even if you are just talking to the hotwife, ask about her husband and what his boundaries are too.

Speaking of husbands, definitely know the difference between cuckolding and Vixen and Stag couples and never assume that someone is one or the other. One of the quickest ways to piss off a couple is to try and humiliate or degrade a stag because you just assumed that’s what the situation was. It is the husband that is being generous enough to share his wife so always check with him and take what he wants into consideration. If he calls time on things, you can be pretty sure that she will listen to him.

If you do have an altercation with a stag, don’t expect that the vixen will take your side. Yes, she may have been screaming your name moments before, but she married him not you.  It doesn’t matter what she texted or fantasized with you.  All of that is nothing compared to what she shares with her husband.

Even if the hotwife you are with has a cuckold husband, you still need to abide by their boundaries and give them what they want.  Remember your place as a bull and don’t overstep the mark. Basically, you are a fun bonus to their relationship.

Leave Your Feelings At Home

That brings us to the next mistake single men make. Don’t catch feelings. If you aren’t comfortable playing second fiddle to a hotwife’s actual husband, then maybe this isn’t the lifestyle choice for you. Be clear about your purpose and role in her life, and be sure that the arrangement meets your needs as well. Do not expect that things will change once you “win her over”.

Remember that your hotwife may have a job, has got a husband, and possibly has kids. Don’t take it for granted that you can text or call at any time. Many hotwives love to hear from their single male bulls at unexpected times, but they often have competing responsibilities that are much bigger priorities than flirting. If you become too clingy, you’ll likely be tossed out.

Make Her Feel Safe & At Ease

Most men do not experience the heightened sense of fear and vulnerability that women deal with on a day-to-day basis, and this is also true when it comes to lifestyle dating and casual sex.

If your hotwife is meeting you alone – especially for the first few times – try to keep this in mind. Be proactive in creating an atmosphere that puts her at the greatest ease possible. Discuss the logistics of your plan well in advance so she can take safety precautions. At the very least, she will probably want to share her location with her husband so moving around on the fly could be uncomfortable for her. Don’t be surprised or offended if she wants to go to a place she is familiar with rather than some random out of the way place you suggest.

Common Courtesy

Remember to say thank you. It might seem unnecessary to you especially if your hookup was very casual or a one-night thing, but it is good manners to follow up after a date. It does not need to be anything fancy. A very quick “thanks for last night. You were amazing” can go a long way to making her day and doesn’t cost you anything other than a few seconds.

Being a free agent likely means you don’t have to be as discreet about your sex life as a married woman does. That freedom is great for you, just don’t let it be a liability for her. If you feel the need to brag to friends about the super-hot married chick you were with last night, stop yourself!  If you just can’t contain yourself, don’t mention names or any identifying details. It may seem like not a big deal to you, but there could be any number of reasons a hotwife wants her lifestyle kept private.  You could ruin someone’s relationship with family and friends or jeopardize their career from a few minutes of stupid gloating.

Protect Yourself

Remember to also take care of yourself.  You may be playing the second buck to the stag in your hotwife’s life or the strong bull in a cuckold scenario, but make sure to ask yourself about what you are getting out of this arrangement. Are your needs being met? Are you free to discuss your kinks and are they taken into consideration? Are you getting that “thanks that was so amazing” text too?

You might be there for the sex, but that does not make you just a sex object. Make sure that you are being treated with kindness and respect. Sex is way hotter when everyone is good to each other.

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1 Comment

  • Reina
    3 years ago Reply

    After owning several Private Swing Clubs and living a Swingers Lifestyle most of my life I can testify that these are excellent guidelines
    All couples have their own set of rules to play by but these are a great for a newbie #3 to follow.

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