SEXY Fun…?

So, what does “Fun” mean, in the lifestyle? Defining Pleasure on your own terms…

We all want to have fun. Sexy fun. After all, that’s what we signed up for, right? Sexy. Fun. You see it everywhere—“Single male for fun,” “Sexy couple open to fun tonight”—but what does fun really mean? The longer I’ve been in the lifestyle, the more I realize that it’s different for everyone.

When I first stepped into the lifestyle, I quickly discovered that the version of fun I had envisioned didn’t quite align with reality. I had read stories of spontaneous encounters—meeting someone sexy at a bar or beach and seamlessly escalating to more. It sounded thrilling! But for me, it just didn’t work that way. I started to wonder if I wasn’t cut out for this. Maybe I wasn’t wired like others, the way I had hoped to be.

Over time, I learned that fun—at least for me—has to be more carefully curated. While I respect and admire those who can navigate spontaneous connections effortlessly, I now embrace that my approach is different. And that’s okay.

• I need respect. A last-minute booty call might sound hot, but it often leaves me feeling used. I’m not a free escort or a blow-up doll—I’m a sexually liberated woman with standards and boundaries.
• I need trust. There’s something magical about playing with a partner I trust. It allows me to let go, be fully present in my body, and surrender to the experience.
• I need communication. I want to know if our needs align and what excites my play partners. Mental stimulation and anticipation fuel my desire—so bring on the dirty talk! We Lifestylers may be sexy as hell, but we aren’t mind readers. Let’s chat!

I’ve often wished I could dive headfirst into the lifestyle, but I’ve realized I need to dip a toe in first—test the waters. While my approach might make it more challenging to find the right match, it’s worth it. I won’t sacrifice my long-term needs for short-term gratification.

At the end of the day, we all just want to have fun, even if that looks different for each of us. Don’t be discouraged if your version of fun isn’t the same as someone else’s. What truly matters is finding what works for you.

So… what does your idea of fun look like?