My Life’s Journey To Sexual Freedom..

As I grip her hips and push all 8 inches of my strap-on dildo inside of her, a smile comes to my lips and I bask in the sounds of her moans of pleasure as I fill her over and over. I glance over at my hubby and watch him drooling over us with his naughty smile. I hear my playmate beg me to not stop, so I reach down and grab hair and keep rolling and thrusting my hips. This is such a pure moment, and I am loving the power, sexual expression, and freedom of it all! It’s amazing to think that just a few years ago, I would never have even considered this a possibility. I have come so far and through so much to get here.

My husband and I have enjoyed living in the Lifestyle for about 4 years now, and I’m sure we will enjoy it for a very long time to come. It has brought with it so many experiences, a lot good and some not as much, but all have helped us grow together. I believe it has made us stronger, more patient, more loving, more understanding with each other’s needs, and less bored with the day to day monotony that life can sometimes become. I am very grateful to have his loving support through all the changes in life as I explore my sexuality. I know now that I don’t have to be ashamed of who I am and what has happened to me in my life. Sex has become a way of expressing who I am and is so freeing and fun! But it wasn’t always that way for me.

When I was growing up, sex was a very taboo topic in my household. No one, I mean no one talked about sex or anything related to it. I instead personally learned about sex in a very hard and painful way. My education began when a trusted family member molested me while I was bathing at the tender age of five. I was horrified and scared and turned to my mother. But the utterly inadequate words that came from her that left a very gaping wound in my heart were “Well if it happens again, I’ll deal with it then.” That life-altering experience taught me not to trust anyone.  From then on, everything that happened to me I kept to myself. As a small child, I realized that there was no one who could take care of me and keep me safe but me. Unfortunately, that early sexual abuse I suffered was just the beginning. Throughout my childhood and adolescence I was molested by even more family members and family friends up until I was 14 years old, when I decided enough is enough and put a stop to the abuse by threatening to reveal the abusers. But still I felt powerless and I blamed myself for letting it happen for such a long time. And the effects on me were already deeply entrenched. I flinched at unwelcome touches from men. I suffer from depression and anxiety. The traumatic experiences caused me to avoid intimacy and even kissing my boyfriend’s when I was dating. I never even masturbated. And I never had sex until years later when I met my now husband. He first became my friend and then became my safe space and eventually the love of my life. He was also the first person I shared my traumatic experiences with. He helped teach me to trust again and has guided me since then to explore my sexuality.

I grew up in the Philippines with a very conservative religious upbringing, as first a Catholic and then a Mormon when my parents and siblings converted when I was a teenager.

I grew up in the Philippines with a very conservative religious upbringing, as first a Catholic and then a Mormon when my parents and siblings converted when I was a teenager. My husband also grew up as a Mormon with his family. He served a two-year mission in the Philippines and that’s actually how we met. It is actually forbidden for a Mormon missionary to fall in love while serving their mission, but as my hubby tells me, I was just too beautiful and sweet to ignore! Lol. While he was a missionary, we became close friends and got to know each other well. He finished his mission and we had a long distance relationship for a while. Eventually he came back to the Philippines, where we got married and lived together for several years, our oldest child being born there. Eventually we moved to the US. We lived a strictly religious lifestyle, including no alcohol, spending countless hours each week volunteering at our church, and overall just trying to live our lives as we were told to. My husband and I explored sex and sexual things with each other, but it was quite limited and all within the bounds of what the Church stated was proper. Fast forward several years when we decided to move to Northern California for him to attend nursing school, and where I became pregnant with our fourth child. The stresses of school and pregnancy led us to the point where we both knew something had to change, and that’s when we decided together that we should leave the Church and explore happiness elsewhere. We both recognized that we had only been going to church to make other people happy and it was making the two of us quite unhappy. From that point on we began our own exploration of new things and new experiences. We changed our exercise and eating habits and both lost more than 50lbs. We tried alcohol for the first time. We started watching porn together. We began traveling and seeing the sights of our city and surrounding areas. We took up hiking, karaoke and dancing, and started frequenting local bars and dance clubs. We would often discuss new things we wanted to try, and during one of these discussions I brought up an idea that had come from some of the porn we watched. I opened up to my husband that I want to see him pleasuring another woman and see the other women getting pleasured by him. I also told him that I don’t just want to watch but that I want to have sex with other women too! This was the moment when I actually came out to him as being bisexual since up until then I had never fully come to terms with the idea myself. Well as you might imagine, my husband was fully on board with both those ideas! Lol. He didn’t waste any time at all in beginning the search and finding someone who we could play with.

During this time, we really had no idea how this worked or how to find like-minded people, but we jumped online and made profiles on various social media platforms and apps. Tumblr was very pro-sex back then, and that’s actually where we met our first playmate.  We chatted with a girl there for a while and realized we were all into the idea of getting together, so we planned a date to meet. I was excited but also nervous about the prospect of being sexual with someone new, after only being with my husband for so many years. But as he and I talked about what we wanted to do, and even roleplayed and fantasized about possible situations, my excitement grew stronger than my anxiety. We didn’t really know what rules or boundaries we wanted, other than we just wanted to do everything together and be able to share the experiences.

She pushed me down to bed and opened my thighs. I was nervous but very turned on and excited about what’s going to happen next.

When we finally met our first unicorn and then had our first experience, it was more than we had hoped for. We met for dinner and drinks and just talked, trying to get a feel for her and see how we all connected. As the date progressed, it was clear that all 3 of us had good chemistry with each other, although I felt so very shy about it. Thankfully my hubby is good at talking and putting others at ease, and he helped me and our date both feel comfortable. As we were finishing our meal, the girl asked us if we wanted to grab a room close by and play. I knew that I wanted to but was also quite anxious. My hubby and I talked with each other, and decided that we would go play. And I’m so glad we did! We quickly paid the check, booked a room, and left the restaurant. As we entered the room with her, I was so nervous and just didn’t have any idea how to approach the situation. But thank goodness she took the initiative and aggressively started the playtime. As we stood there staring at each other, I can remember exactly what she said in that moment and I still giggle when I think of it. “Ok! This is not going to happen and I’m not going to get what I want if we all just stand here!”. Then she almost attacked me as she ripped off my clothes and just aggressively removed each piece of clothing. Kissing a girl for the first time was so exhilarating! I was kissing her and touching her beautiful body, her breasts, her pussy. Inserting my finger inside her was so very hot! She pushed me down to bed and opened my thighs. I was nervous but very turned on and excited about what’s going to happen next. She started licking me and the feelings of euphoria were overwhelming. I felt so hot inside and I was pushing her head deeper into me. I looked over at my husband and our eyes met, me with my mouth hanging open and him with his lips curved in his naughty smile. She glanced up and saw me looking at him, and we both called him over to join us. I watched as he very intently and enjoyably began pleasuring her. He went down on her as she was going down on me, licking her and making her moan and it was all such a high! She started begging him to fuck her, so he quickly undressed and returned ready to give her what she was asking for.  I looked over her and watched his hard cock go inside her and then I looked up into his eyes and gave him the sweetest smile which he returned back to me right away. The moans that she made that night were music to my ears and brought waves of heat to my body as he thrust in her over and over, pushing her mouth into my pussy. She was quite orgasmic, and watching her cum on him sent chills down my spine! And then getting to watch him filling her with his cum was oh so good and deliciously mesmerizing! We all lay down in bed together after that fantastic experience, basking in the glow of it all. Eventually we all got up and as we were dressing, she told us that we should absolutely do it again. And we definitely did with her, many times! On the drive home that night, my hubby and I held hands like we always do as we talked about how amazing it was and how mind-blowingly hot it was to see each other enjoying ourselves. What a way to start this new chapter of our lives!

As first time experiences go, I think we got quite lucky opening our marriage by playing with someone as fun and compatible with us as that first playmate was. Being able to explore my sexuality and get to express it is very freeing with someone like that was just what I needed. And it was so much fun! As my husband always tells me, the most fun someone can have is usually just outside of their comfort zone, and that was definitely the case for me. It took courage and trust, but it allowed me to grow and learn as well. Entering into this lifestyle forced us to communicate with each other more than we ever had before, and helped us figure out our boundaries and rules. We learned, sometimes the hard way, that when we lack communication and inadvertently cross boundaries feelings tend to get hurt and that sometimes will cause friction between us. Having good communication and respecting each other’s boundaries helped build trust, and with more trust it became even easier to explore, share feelings, and to have fun together. We both enjoy living this lifestyle together, and playing together is how we prefer to keep it. The excitement and joy we get from seeing each other pleasure and being pleasured by others adds a level of enjoyment to our marriage that you probably can’t achieve in other ways. It’s brought us even closer and helped us better understand each other’s wants and needs, both sexually and non-sexually. We’ve gotten better at listening to each other and know how to adjust when something new or unexpected happens. Over the years, we have changed our approach to a more relaxed one and don’t usually like to play on the first date. We prefer to get to know others and make sure everyone feels comfortable and ready to play before we jump into bed. We’ve established a few rules for our play as well. One, we don’t play alone. For us, we get so much pleasure from watching each other and have decided to always be there. Two, we only play for fun. We aren’t polyamorous (we are practicing a form of partnered non-monogamy),  and so we’re not looking to have another relationship with others. Three, all communication is out in the open, meaning when we talk or chat with others that we play with, it’s always in group messages. And lastly, everyone should have fun. If everyone isn’t having fun, we don’t want to be part of the experience, it’s as simple as that.

Over the years I’ve felt myself change, evolve and become accepting of who I am and what I want with my sexuality.

My husband and I have figured out that the Daddy Dom/sub babygirl dynamics works well for us, so we’ve incorporated that into a lot of our personal play. But for me, it takes a lot of trust, caring, and love to let someone be in control and to submit to them. That’s why he’s the only Dom in my life, because he is my safe space and in many ways he knows me probably more than I know myself. Over the years I’ve felt myself change, evolve and become accepting of who I am and what I want with my sexuality. I’ve discovered that I like to dominate both men and women. I love the power I feel as they submit and I take care of them, especially when I use my 8 inch strap-on dildo on them! Lol. I found out that I love flogging people, at least those that like to be flogged.  I can even be a little sadistic at times depending on the situation. These are my new kinks that I’m exploring more right now. I am not afraid to try new things at least once, or more if I end up liking it. It opens my mind and helps me grow to be accepting of others sexual needs and kinks. I love to give and please others, when I know what they want sexually then I give it to them happily. That kind of experience just does it for me!

The Lifestyle has brought so many varied experiences to my life that have all helped me grow individually and also us as a couple. As I’ve shared, it has made us stronger, more patient, more loving, more understanding with each other’s needs, and brought so much excitement and fun to our lives. I am very grateful for my husband and partner in all this, to have his loving support and reassurance. I look forward to many more years of exploring and fn together, no longer feeling the need to be ashamed of who I am, but embracing it and allowing myself just be the sexual being that I am. Sex has truly become a way of expressing myself and is so freeing and fun! Always with the right people of course.

So how about you, are you one of those people? Can you come and have fun with me too? Even if we are not, I wish you all the fun and joy in being free and exploring yourself