Farmers’s Daughter Gone Wild!
My husband and I literally come from opposite sides of the planet – I grew up in a rural part of the Philippines and he’s from a small town in the midwestern U.S. The fact that we would ever meet at all is remarkable, much less that we would marry and jump into the adventure of the lifestyle together! Here is the story of how our lives became joined together, and how we grew to be partners in the excitement of the lifestyle!
Growing up, my parents were very hard working and prosperous farmers in the northern part of the Philippines, an 11-hour bus ride from Manila which is the capital. Honestly, I grew up in a tropical paradise, with natural raw beauty everywhere! I am one of 5 children, and I participated in all the chores expected of a child who grows up on a farm, often while barefoot which was very common there. We raised many different animals, grew numerous crops (including pineapples which I’ll never be able to see the same again!) and to this day my dad still tends to a fairly large coconut plantation, primarily by hand. It was a way of life that was in some ways hard because there was always so much work to do, but at the same time it was fun and it was the only way of life we knew. Modern conveniences like indoor bathrooms didn’t arrive until I was in high school, but we didn’t feel like we lacked anything. My parents were, and still are very devout and conservative Christians, and I was raised in an environment where sex was taboo in general, and almost never discussed openly. I learned to work hard at a very young age, and to be a “good girl”. And that’s what I was, always working hard to do my part and make my parents proud of me. In those years I thought of myself as awkward, and my own sexuality was something that just wasn’t very important, much less something that I explored.
At age 17 I left home to attend a university in Manila, and while boys got my attention at college, I was too shy to pursue them or respond when receiving their occasional attention. Even the environment at college was very conservative, where girls never initiated any contact with a boy, and even holding a boy’s hand would get noticed by others and cause giggles and whispers by friends, as if it was a very sensual act! Again the environment was very conservative and after a few years I graduated and moved to Hong Kong to work for a successful family there, still a virgin and without feeling the freedom or desire to explore my sexuality.
I had no strong urges to pursue men, or sex, and the largely Chinese population of men there didn’t interest me very much. During that time I did lose my virginity to a boy from back home that I dated briefly, but it was a very forgettable experience.
The worldly and cosmopolitan Hong Kong vibe really began to open my eyes to western culture, but I was busy with my work and didn’t meet anyone who might have introduced me to traditional western dating, or helped me break out of my shell. I had no strong urges to pursue men, or sex, and the largely Chinese population of men there didn’t interest me very much. During that time I did lose my virginity to a boy from back home that I dated briefly, but it was a very forgettable experience. Eventually I decided to try to find a relationship and I met an American man through a Christian dating magazine. We dated long distance for a while and eventually got engaged, and I moved to Scottsdale Arizona in 2002 after living in Hong Kong for five years. At that point in my life, I still had participated in only the one sexual experience mentioned above, had not yet had sex with my fiancé, but I expected to develop a normal sex life with my husband when we got married in 2002.
During this period of my life, my husband Mr. 123 was living in Scottsdale, having moved there in the ’90’s to further his engineering and IT career. He was married with two children and having been raised in MN in a devout catholic family, he also experienced a very sexually suppressed childhood and didn’t lose his virginity until age 19 at college (according to him that’s fairly old!). Like myself, his conservative Christian upbringing had him always focused on being a “good guy” and doing the “right thing” but not being overly adventurous sexually. He had considerably more sexual experience than me, but his marriage was sexually dysfunctional due to his wife’s lack of interest or imagination in sex. It was a frequent source of conflict for them during their 11-year marriage and eventually he would learn she wanted to leave the marriage and they divorced in 2004…2 years after I arrived in Scottsdale.
My life in the U.S. and my marriage began well enough, but I quickly learned about my first husband’s temper, his tendency to be very controlling, and his difficulty controlling anger. In time that escalated to physical abuse including in our sex life. Without getting into too much detail, he enjoyed sexual experiences that were sometimes painful and scary for me, but I felt trapped and didn’t know what to do because I had grown very afraid of him. While I had made some girlfriends in Scottsdale, I didn’t know how to share such personal and intimate things with them, and I didn’t want to cause my family any concerns by talking to them about it since they were so far away. I spent many days very scared and confused, but in the spring of ’08 I finally found the courage to move out, and we were divorced a few months later. While I was very relieved to be free from him, I found myself all alone with no family support, just the support of my girlfriends. I was in my early 30’s and still had not enjoyed a sex life that was consistently safe or satisfying, and honestly had not learned very much about my own inherent sexuality. But a couple months later – my life began to change in an amazing way!
I felt so lucky that the first man I contacted wanted to meet me, and I was very excited and definitely a little scared. But I was hopeful that this date would be fun and possibly open the door to new possibilities. BOY DID IT EVER!
Through the encouragement of girlfriends, I joined an online dating site and the first night I joined, I dared to contact a man who met my search criteria. Being quite shy, this was a very big step for me to initiate contact, but he replied quickly and after corresponding a bit, we set up a date for breakfast a few days later. I felt so lucky that the first man I contacted wanted to meet me, and I was very excited and definitely a little scared. But I was hopeful that this date would be fun and possibly open the door to new possibilities. BOY DID IT EVER! Breakfast was comfortable and fun, he put me at ease right away and looking back, the way he talked about being a single father raising his young children gave me insight into how loving and giving he was, which was very attractive and very new for me! After breakfast he invited me to walk around a nearby outdoor mall to continue chatting. Apparently he liked me a lot, and asked me if he could kiss me there…I easily said yes! That man, Mr. 123, was so kind, sweet, handsome and safe…and he asked me to marry him two years later at the exact same spot we shared our first kiss!
OK now the juicy part (sorry you had to wait so long)! Mr. 123’s manner in the bedroom has always been sexy, sensual, giving and fun – our sexual chemistry together was great, easy and very fulfilling. It was the first time in my life I experienced the ease and comfort of a lover who was so connected with me and focused on me. After dating a few months and at his suggestion, I tried using a vibrator for the first time and discovered I LOVED being able to pleasure myself that way, both alone or with him. I think he knew that sexually I was inexperienced, and he had always wanted more variety and adventure in the bedroom too, so he would gently suggest things to do or try, never making me feel pressured, and together we both began to experience a sex life unlike anything before. One night he took me to a strip club for the first time, and OMG I was surprised to learn I was really turned on watching him interact with the strippers. It aroused me so much when they danced for him, and I loved picking the hottest dancers who would get him super hard, and I loved stroking him and it made me want to fuck him right there in the club! Sometimes we couldn’t even make it out of the parking lot and crawled into the back of his SUV to have hot sex! We soon agreed we wanted to try a 3-some together and hired an escort – who was very sexy and made that experience fantastic for both of us. The strip club experiences revealed to me that while I definitely desire men primarily, I’m much more bisexual than I ever would have known otherwise, and I love the sight, touch and taste of a sexy lady in the right situations. Today in the lifestyle, my connection with the other couple’s Mrs. is just as important as my connection with the Mr. My eyes were really opening to my own sexuality, our sexuality together as a couple, and I was feeling more open and adventurous than ever!
We were married in 2010 and about six months later we joined a Lifestyle website and began meeting couples, seeking couples play. We were both excited and nervous for sure, but for us this was a natural progression from the 3-some experience, and because we were so in love neither of us felt threatened by the idea of seeing the other with another husband or wife. We enjoyed several positive full swap experiences that were erotic, sexy, and amazing! The sex was fun, but it was more than that, it was so hot and fulfilling to do it all together, experiencing all the “firsts” and navigating the inevitable bumps along the road. Mostly – sharing all of this with Mr123, together, was just a fun, sexy and growing experience that bonded us, and reinforced our love for each other. This is the aspect of the lifestyle that is impossible to explain to our vanilla friends! We were active for a year in the lifestyle but then got pregnant – and didn’t pursue any play with others until January of 2021 – an 8-year break. Perhaps our Christian upbringing played a part in staying away all those years, to focus on a very traditional family situation, and other than occasional verbal fantasies of others joining us for sex we never got close to pursuing any play with others.
Somewhat suddenly, in an out of the blue conversation last January I asked Mr123 “is our online lifestyle profile still active?” I honestly don’t remember what was on my mind prior to asking him, because we had not been having any conversations about the lifestyle, but his answer was “no babe, it hasn’t been live for 8 years, but it can be!” And 30 minutes later our online profile was active again and we began to gradually get plugged back into our local the LS community!
Obviously much had changed since we “retired” in 2012, including several new websites to use, and new private lifestyle groups that were available to consider joining, that we had never heard of before. We began with what we were familiar with – by contacting couples to meet for drinks, and also by attending a couple local parties and LS clubs. Honestly it was kind of a bumpy start since the first few parties we found weren’t really our “thing”, but gradually we met some couples we “clicked” with and had our first swap experience with a couple on Valentines day! Shortly after that, we joined a private lifestyle group here and things really began to change for us. By attending their parties we met a lot of couples and began to really expand our network of lifestyle friends, and have had tons of fun! Most of that fun has been purely social, but we have also experienced some sexy time with hot couples who we consider dear friends, since building a friendship is very important to us. We’ve broadened our play activities to include more soft-swap and girl-girl play than before, and for us the intimacy we experience while playing with others always needs to feel safe, natural and organic, so we are particular about who we get “tangled up” with. But the amazing thing for us is that when we have great chemistry and friendship with a couple, our play together feels surprisingly natural and not awkward at all! For us the lifestyle journey together is fun, exciting, bonding, and often very interesting as we navigate through different scenarios. We are so happy to be part of this community and grateful for the friends we’ve made who are very special to us! I never ever, in a million years would have thought of myself as a life styler but the shy, conservative farmers daughter from half a world away is now a woman open to sexual experiences and situations that were previously taboo and unthinkable!