aka Mr. & Mrs. Kasidie.com Tell All!
LSM got the chance to sit down and talk to “Scott & Nicoleta” aka (Mr. & Mrs. Kasidie) the owners of the largest Lifestyle community website www.Kasidie.com . We talked to them about everything lifestyle, favorite experiences to starting one of the greatest Lifestyle Social community websites and going world-wide….
LSM: So, did you both meet in the lifestyle? Or before the lifestyle? And what do you remember about the first time you met?
Not exactly. Scott had been introduced to the lifestyle before we met by a couple of different girls he was dating. I was in college in New York and had become friends with a girl who he dated on and off, and at spring break she invited me to fly to California with her to hang out with Scott and travel around Newport Beach and San Diego. When we got to his house I knocked on his door, and when he opened the door we had an instant connection. By the end of spring break the other girl had left for him and Scott took me to Vegas. I flew back thinking it was just a vacation fling, a one-night stand, and then he surprised me by flying to NYC to see me…thus beginning a year-and-a-half cross-country, non-monogamous (but not yet lifestyle) relationship. After school I moved in with him and we started going to lifestyle parties and trips.
LSM: So how long did you both play in the lifestyle before you decided to start a Lifestyle Community site? And we heard a rumor that Kasidie was originally started as a Lifestyle Magazine site, is this true?
About 3 years. We were going to parties and clubs almost every weekend (this was pre-kids, lol) and going to Mexico to Desire and on lifestyle trips. We were really annoyed that the lifestyle sites were all run by people who weren’t actually swingers. But we didn’t want to build a social community as we didn’t really have time given my other business interests, so we started a lifestyle magazine as a way to have fun. People loved it, but really pushed us to take it to the next level and start a social community since we were that very rare match of an entrepreneur with the capital and technical team who could do this and a younger couple who was fully immersed in living and loving the lifestyle. So we did!
LSM: How did the name Kasidie come about? And what do you think separates the Kasidie.com Lifestyle Community apart from other Lifestyle Community sites?
We were offered “swingers.com” by a business associate, and seriously considered it before deciding that it’d attract too much attention from people we didn’t really want in the community. So we chose to do something real instead of something that’d be a quick and easy financial payoff. After passing on that name, we were sitting in a jacuzzi with a bunch of friends bantering around various names (and using a tablet to check domain name availability), we all agreed that the name should be female, since it’s the girls who run the lifestyle. “Cassidy” came up, everyone liked it, and so we started messing around with different iterations until we locked in on “Kasidie”. Hard to spell, even hard to pronounce, but if you don’t know about it then you probably don’t belong, and that’s a good thing!
The biggest thing differentiating Kasidie from other sites is that it’s truly “by swingers, for swingers”. We are the only major site actually started and run by people active in the lifestyle, and we are the only major site that only, exclusively hires & employs swingers…no vanilla’s reviewing photos, approving parties, or anything else here!
This is most evident in the “his/hers” settings. Swingers know there’s a huge variety of sexual preferences, and that no two people are alike…including couples. Thus we don’t have broad generic settings like “soft-swap/full-swap” as it’s way too limiting and doesn’t enable each person in a couple to articulate their sexuality. We know “hot wife” couples, and couples where one partner is into BDSM and the other isn’t, and individual levels of bisexuality, and fetishes, and voyeurs vs exhibitionists, and so much more rich context that other sites just don’t let people express…and Kasidie does.
It’s also obvious in how we treat clubs, event hosts, travel planners and others. We don’t compete with them, hence no Kasidie cruises or takeovers…we’d be taking food off someone else’s plate if we did that, and we aren’t so greedy as to do that because it would hurt the lifestyle community, which is a better place because of all the people working to do all kinds of cool things. And we’ve built a ton of special tools in the site that help clubs and party hosts list and promote their events, and create communities within the Kasidie ecosystem. We love this!
LSM: And how many current users are on Kasidie world wide? And is there any certain country/State/City where you have a larger then normal subscription base, that surprised you?
Well we don’t disclose numbers, but we can say that Kasidie is primarily a US site. We haven’t translated it into multiple languages, and our WYSIWYG technology used on emails, party listings, forum postings, and other places doesn’t support non-English characters. Thus we haven’t worked on promoting Kasidie internationally, though we do have some great members in Turkey where a word similar to Kasidie means “welcome friends” and they love that.
Regionally we are strongest in Southern California, Nevada (Vegas!), Colorado, parts of Texas, Utah, and some other states, with great growth also in Chicago, Portland, south Florida, and Arizona. Most swingers know they need to belong to at least a couple of different sites as there are major and even tiny websites that have been adopted in different geographies.
LSM: What was one of your favorite Lifestyle experiences and why? Was it a private gathering or at a Lifestyle Event?
Oh wow, that is literally an impossible question…there are too many to pick a favorite. Our most extraordinary experience was a very private affair for a billionaire’s birthday party in Paris, where he flew in lifestyle-loving celebrities, sports stars, and royalty from all over the world. It was a week long series of extravagant dinners at restaurants and in the grand ballroom at the Ritz, excursions to his villa in the south of Spain, and totally uninhibited orgies in his penthouse on the Champs De Elysée. We still can’t believe it really happened, but it did, and it was awesome.
LSM: If you were going to share with someone about your very best experience in the Lifestyle, what would it be? Please share the details of the experience, walk us through it…
Scott: Wow, just one? Well among the top of the list was a party hosted by friends of ours in a hotel suite where the guys get charms and the girls get an empty necklace. The girls then can earn charms from guys, each charm representing something different such as get-naked, makeout, go-down, fuck, DP, etc. The cool thing is that it puts the girls 100% in charge, no guys approach them, they only approach who they want, and they only ask for what charms they want. Well, it got really competitive as the girls with the most charms won prizes, and it was wild.
Nicoleta: So many, but my favorite was a pool party I attended without Scott, as he was traveling on business. It was filled with hot people and a flirty vibe. I locked eyes with this really hot guy standing at the bar, it was carnal the way he looked at me, total chemistry, I don’t even remember walking over there but we were instantly making out like crazy, he took me back to his room and fucked me for 3 hours, over and over again. It was a screaming, sweaty, multi-orgasmic, and absolutely delicious afternoon of hot sex. Only later did we ask each other our names.
LSM: Please tell us how the Lifestyle has changed your life for the better, Do you feel the Lifestyle has benefited your relationship sexually, intimately…
When we were first starting out, Nicoleta tried some vanilla groups like Junior League and other social things. The women there were overwhelmingly focused on social status and material things, it was so sad. And the more we engaged in lifestyle activities the more we made friends who were real, and who were uninhibited and so fun to be around. Before long we’d dropped out of all the vanilla stuff, didn’t spend time with vanillas outside of work very much, and soon realized we were leading an amazing and much fuller life with our lifestyle friends. And yes, the sex was definitely even better…even with each other! 😊
LSM: Please give us your thoughts on couples thinking about getting into the lifestyle. How should it be discussed? What tips would you give a couple considering the Lifestyle?
As you might imagine, this is an area where we’ve seen and experienced a lot with newbies. Our two biggest pieces of advice are…
- Don’t surprise your partner by taking them to a party or signing up for a website until <<after>> you’ve spoken with them. It’s never something that both have a simultaneous “ah ha!” moment, so someone comes up with the idea first (65% of the time is the girl, not the guy, who leads into the lifestyle). So someone has to make the first move…and that move MUST be a conversation before doing something, not after.
- Sign up on Kasidie <<together>>, at the same time sitting at a computer, and then each take turns selecting various things on “she enjoys / he enjoys”. That, more than anything else, will be a massive eye-opener and if each person is totally honest with themselves it will absolutely blow the other person away with things they never knew…and it’ll for sure lead to some crazy great sex after, or while filling it out!
LSM: Do you have any new Lifestyle Ventures coming up in the future you can share about?
Nope, nada. We continue to add features on Kasidie, like the new Cinema, and have other fun things in the plans like that. But no new ventures. We do just fine with Kasidie, and love the community, so we don’t want to get in the way of other folks who are creating new clubs and activities and working hard to add fun to the lifestyle while also trying to earn a living.
LSM: Us being Kasidie.com members for many years now has helped us connect and develop strong friendships and relationships with others who view life like us. Would you say that over all the Lifestyle is starting to become mainstream and the norm?
Awesome, we are so happy to hear that! Well, with Tinder and other apps “non-monogamy” is certainly the norm. It’s funny to watch Househunters International” and see they don’t edit-out comments like “oh we’ve had 8 people in this shower before”, lol. So yes, being “sexually social” is definitely accepted now on a much broader scale, especially with younger generations and with those who have higher education or IQ’s and thus are less susceptible to being forced into conforming to other peoples versions of what’s right or wrong. It’s exciting to see a world where one of our favorite slogans is becoming a reality – Relax, It’s Just Sex!