Discovering Compersion: My Transformative Lifestyle Journey

My journey in the lifestyle is probably not like many other. First, I am married to a wonderful man who is named Keith (57). We have been married for 12 years. Keith has decades of experience in the lifestyle. In the beginning of our relationship, I had many questions about his previous experiences, and we spoke for several years about those experiences. The more he talked, the more I learned more of what the lifestyle is, and what the lifestyle is not. To be honest, I had a lot of misconceptions of what the lifestyle is and can be. Keith was patient and happy to explain the lifestyle in as much detail as I wanted.

Three years into talking about the lifestyle, he asked if I would like to go to a pool party. He got online and created an account on Kasidie and started looking for people or communities that were hosting pool parties. He found one that he thought was interesting. Keith informed me ahead of time, that for the most part the women don’t really wear their tops. I was not sure how I felt about that. I informed him that I would like to be relatively early to the party to be able to “ease in” to the situation.

What I have learned since then, is that all eyes will be on you if you are wearing that top, because people will wonder what you are hiding.

The day arrives and I nervously get in the car. The hosts were very nice and invited us to go out into the backyard where there were already people in the pool. I should add that the party started at 4, it is now 4:15. We walked out to the backyard, and I was in disbelief of what I see. There are topless women everywhere, of all shapes, sizes, and ages. I had expected it to be a sea of perfection of bodies.

Instead, I was greeted with what perfection really can be. This is the most welcoming party I have even been to. People talking, without regard to their age, their color, their political affiliation, or any other means that as a society we separate ourselves from others. Keith looked at me and simply told me to remove my bikini top. This was a first for me. 

What I have learned since then, is that all eyes will be on you if you are wearing that top, because people will wonder what you are hiding. If you remove the top, you are in a sea of topless women. I asked Keith to remove my top for me, this way it isn’t me removing it, it is him. I sort of gave up the responsibility of being topless. Being new to the lifestyle, this was an amazing moment for me. Maybe there really is some kind of utopia where people don’t judge each other and simply accept people for who they are, flaws and all. 

Over the next several years, Keith encouraged me to disclose any kind of fantasy or kink that I had an interest in, and we could try them out to see if it happening in person is as good as reading it in a book. We tried several different aspects of the B.D.S.M. world and have learned over the years that we enjoy most of that. I really enjoy the dedicated attention when it comes to rope play. There is something very intimate when someone spends several hours simply tying you up using intricate knots, it is an emotional journey for sure. 

We decided to play with single men before we decided to try either single women or other couples. As the “newbie”, we decided it might be easier to experience vs watch. My first experience with a single male, Keith made the arrangements for us to drive to the single man’s house. We brought out massage table which was the initial premise of getting touched. There was a myriad of possibilities but the one thing that was a constant was I was going to get a full body massage by two men at the very least. What woman would not want that?

When we arrived, Keith took the massage table inside and set it up in the master bedroom. Once he came back to the car to get me, he put a blindfold over my eyes.  When later, I inquired about the blindfold Keith told me that the first lesson you should learn in the lifestyle is if what is being done to you feels good, and you are enjoying it, does it really matter what the person providing the pleasure looks like. 

Keith had me stand, blindfolded in the master bedroom and the single guy standing shirtless in front of me. Keith instructed me to raise my hands and simply touch the person standing in front of me. I deliberately ran my fingers over his shoulders, his chest, and his face. At a certain point Keith instructed the man to give me a kiss.

Kissing is very important to me; you can learn a lot about a person simply by the way that they kiss. Keith approaches me from behind and slowly takes my clothes off with the man’s assistance. Now I am standing before 2 men, completely naked, their hands exploring my body. When they could tell that my body has warmed to being touch, they put me on the massage table and treated me to a whole body, exploration massage. 

The idea that a woman can be in a relationship where her man encourages her to seek out and engage in all the pleasures a woman would want, is something only written about in romance novels. 

By the time this massage was over I was more than ready to give myself to both men to use my body however they wanted. They moved me to the bed and removed my blindfold. For the first time I can now see the gentleman who I am a gift. He wasn’t an overly attractive man, and he didn’t have distinguishable features, however, he was a very kind man. He treated me very well and that means more to me than broad shoulders, or a chiseled chin.

Over the course of the next several hours these men put me in every possible position, using my body in ways I had only dreamed of. It was an experience I learned to live out as often as I could. The idea that a woman can be in a relationship where her man encourages her to seek out and engage in all the pleasures a woman would want, is something only written about in romance novels. 

I learned the importance of communicating with your partner, before the experience, during the experience, and after the experience.”

As time went on, I learned what it would be like to see Keith with another woman. It was one thing for him to see me with another man, he enjoyed my performances every chance he could get. But to see him with another woman was new and challenging. I learned the importance of communicating with your partner, before the experience, during the experience, and after the experience.

We adopted the rule that after every encounter we make time for just ourselves, we don’t talk about the person or persons we were just playing with. We focus exclusively on our partner.

This is the reconnection phase of the lifestyle. It is the act of bringing ourselves back to homeostasis. Learning this skill has proven to be invaluable. 

Discovering Compersion

Compersion, which is the pleasurable desire to see your partner either pleasing or being pleased by another, has been a learning experience for me. It has taken me longer than it has taken him, but there is true beauty and pride in your partner, when they turn a play partner into melted butter.

Hotwifing has become an integral part of our lifestyle’s experiences. What I have learned, is that Keith is just as important, if not more, to my pleasure when entertaining other men as the play partners themselves. Being able to communicate with Keith about any of my fantasies and his willingness to fulfill them has made me wonder where this lifestyle was my whole life. 

“If done properly, this lifestyle can take any relationship to levels never believed possible.”

Eight years later in our lifestyles endeavor and we are happier as a couple than we ever have been. We have learned over the years the value of honesty, fantasy, the art of communication, respecting limitations, and boundaries. If done properly this lifestyle can take any relationship to levels never believed possible. Understanding that everyone has value is paramount to your success in the lifestyle. 

Lifestylers all too often discount potential playmates because they may be too tall, or too short, or too thin, or too heavy, or you don’t think they are attractive. People put so many limitations on what they want to engage in that they overlook the very real possibility that they could reject someone who could bring you tremendous pleasures. I have since adopted that beauty is far more than skin deep.

About Contributors / Arizona Hotwife Beth & Husband Keith

My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for 8 years and loving every minute of it. We have more lifestyles friends than we do vanilla friends. The lifestyle has been incredibly rewarding. Who knew that the lifestyle was so inclusive of every demographic. The lifestyle represents everything people look for in humanity and have some fun along the way.

Connect with us on Kasidie: BeastnBeauty